Every year for Mother's Day, we take time to honor our mothers and to say thank you for loving us and for a job well done. This year, I really wanted to see things from a mother's point of view, so I went to the one place where I could get the inside scoop: Pinterest. Through the modern satirical communication tool of Someecards written by moms themselves, I present to you a little retrospective I like to call, "Yes, we love our kids, but can we get a break, please?" As a father of four, I can relate to many of these myself. At least they gave me a laugh:
And, finally, this one doesn't have anything to do with Mother's Day, but I ran across it looking for the others, thought it made a good point and it is something that we have actually talked about in our house (and it made me laugh), so I'll just leave this one right here . . .
Huffington Post is reporting this morning that Chick-Fil-A is ceasing to support pro-family groups who lobby to oppose same-sex marriage, such as Exodus International, the Family Research Council, and Focus on the Family. The organization, The Civil Rights Agenda, states in a press release:
September 18, 2012 – Chicago, Illinois – The Civil Rights Agenda (TCRA), Illinois’ leading lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) civil rights advocacy organization, has learned that Alderman Moreno has finalized his negotiations with Chick-Fil-A. Alderman Moreno has confirmed that Chick-fil-A will no longer give money to anti-gay organizations and that they have clarified in an internal document that the company will treat every person equally, regardless of sexual orientation. The Civil Rights Agenda worked closely with the Alderman in an advisory role as he negotiated these concessions with the executives at Chick-fil-A. Additionally, members of TCRA spoke directly with executives at Chick-fil-A during negotiations to aid in educating their decision makers about anti-discrimination policies and issues affecting the LGBT community.
In a letter addressed to Alderman Moreno and signed by Chick-fil-A’s Senior Director of Real Estate, it states, “The WinShape Foundations is now taking a much closer look at the organizations it considers helping, and in that process will remain true to its stated philosophy of not supporting organizations with political agendas.” Winshape, a non-profit funded by Chick-fil-a, has donated millions of dollars to anti-LGBT groups, including some classified as hate groups, such as Focus on the Family and the National Organization for Marriage. In meetings the company executives clarified that they will no longer give to anti-gay organizations.
My take: This is the world we live in. I am not supporting giving to these organizations. But, that is beside the point. There are many companies that give money to groups who are pro-gay and pro-gay marriage, even though the concept is illegal in over 80% of states and is against Federal Law, so supporting companies who take a side on this issue is clearly not taboo. Many religious groups and pro-traditional-family groups have opposed these businesses with boycotts, but that has not stopped the growing tide of acceptance. With an initial small minority, the pro-same-sex marriage position is gaining steam and by labeling all who disagree with them as hate groups, they have won the emotional argument. This approach is catching on. My guess is that Chick-Fil-A, while maintaining a pro-traditional marriage stance, does not want to be associated with culture warriors who are oppsing the swelling tide. This could come from a principled position of a desire to stay neutral, or it could be because they know which way the winds are blowing and don't want the backlash.
At any rate, if this is true, it is another sign that the legalization of gay marriage is almost a certainty. I have stated before that Christians long ago abandoned a principled position on marriage when we acquiesced to the idea that marriage is about romantic love and the right of two people who love one another to choose to be together. When we made marriage about us and about love, no-fault divorce was the eventual result. If two people don't love each other any more, then why should they stay married? Christians, believing that marriages should stay together because the Bible says so, then tried to get married couples to be "in love" with each other so they would stay married. But, this idea is based on a fallacy. Biblical marriage is not based on romantic love. It is based on God's covenant love and commitment to His own glory and to us - which transcends feelings of romance or satisfaction. Biblical marriage is relationally between a man and a woman and it originates in God. Sure, love is involved - even feelings romantic love as a result. But, that is not the proper foundation, at least in a human sense. Biblical marriage begins is worship of God. The covenant between God and man illustrated through Jesus' sacrifice on the Cross is the true picture of marriage and that covenant is irrevocable. Marriage is a picture of this heavenly reality. But, when we stop worshiping God and looking to Him as our Source, marriage falls apart. We made marriage about us and not about God or Christ and His Church and so we philosophically lost the whole thing. Then, when two gay men or lesbian women come together and say they want to get married because they love each other and marriage is about two people loving each other and why can't they have what straight people have, Christians have no idea what to say except that it is wrong - which means nothing. They have us at our foundational argument. Gender doesn't matter because "love" is supreme. God is love and love conquers all and who are we to say who can love someone else? So, our argument falls apart because essentially, we agree with them. We have no strong argument against divorce except the negative argument that God hates it. Then we try to get couples to fall in love again and when they no longer have feelings for each other, they throw in the towel and we say, "how sad." Our argument against gay marriage is essentially a gender argument which is not compelling because gender lines were erased a generation ago.
The Biblical answer is found in a true picture of God and His creation, Jesus and His Cross, Salvation, the Church, and what Christ's inviolable covenant with man actually is. But, most Christians don't know this, so how can we expect them to understand covenant marriage? All that we are left with when it comes to the gay marriage argument is that "it is wrong." Once you throw out absolute truth and locate the moral governor within the individual, what is right and wrong becomes relative to what makes someone happy or not. And, if it makes you happy, you should do it - right? Christians eaten up with various forms of the prosperity gospel and humanism and a belief that God really does want us to be happy, stumble off stuttering under their breath, "But, but, but, it's wrong . . . isn't it?" Then, when the culture says that they are hate-filled hypocrites because they don't want people to be happy and follow their heart, the once strong opponent to gay marriage caves completely, not wanting to be on the wrong side of what society declares a good person to be. Our own definitions of good and bad are based in society's approval and not in any transcendent sense. After all, if society does not approve of us, then we are no longer relevant and irrelevancy means we have no identity and no success and favor is based on success and acceptance and if we don't have that, then God is no longer with us and if God is not with us, then we are condemned, or so it often seems. So, to be declared a hate-filled hypocrite by society is essentially a judgment of damnation and of being "cast out into utter darkness." It makes us wonder who our god really is. Think about it. As people who subscribe to Divine Revelation, this is a strange set of circumstances we find ourselves in.
So, this move by Chick-Fil-A will be the move of the rest of culture, including the church - eventually, because any opposition to gay marriage is only now seen as hate. There can be no other reason for it in people's minds. Unless we recover a transcendent, Biblical view of marriage that is based in Christ and His Church instead of our feelings and personal experience of love, romantic or otherwise, we won't even understand what is happening. We will continue to demonize gay marriage supporters without ever seeing that we are part of the problem, that we vacated this playing field generations ago, and that what is happening now is a natural result of our own abandoning of truth and fidelity. When "Christianity" dominated the culture, we did strange things with it (slavery, racism, greed, power-plays, oppression) to support our own way of life instead of losing our life daily, and now that our consensus has fallen apart, the chicken sandwiches have come home to roost, so to speak (pun intended).
I understand that it is hard to keep this view in mind. We all fall short. Grace is needed. Christian marriage is hard because it requires a daily dying to self. It is attractive to fall for the larger culture's definition of marriage based on romantic love. That feels better. But, it does not last. Romantic love in marriage is a gift of God and is a by-product of other things. But, it is not the foundation of marriage. God is. And, God is faithful and true, even when we fall short in our understanding and practice. So, we need grace and hope and that is found in God too.
I think that we often get Christian marriage all wrong and the result is devastating for both Christians and non-Christians. We hold up an ideal relationship of love and fulfillment and we give people strategies for how to go after it so they can be satisfied. Christians get married so they can share their life with their soul mate and when things are not what they hoped they would be (as they will never be), then disillusionment often sets in. But, what if the metric was different from what we thought? What if the goal was not some perfect union where there were no problems and God was invited in to create wedded bliss? What if, instead, we recognized that marriage, Christian marriage, is actually two sinners submitting themselves to God and sharing a life together on God's terms instead of their own? What if the problems faced when two sinners joined their lives together were actually allowed by God so that the couple would experience the Way of the Cross and learn dependence upon the Lord instead of themselves? What if Christian marriage was not about the couple getting the life they always wanted, but rather, was a journey into trust in God, forgiveness, grace, mercy, and self-sacrifice and the life that only God can provide? What if Christian marriage was radically different from what we have thought?
Paul David Tripp has an interesting take on it that is different from what I've heard from many ministers in the past. He actually roots marriage in the Kingdom of God and explains what it looks like for the Kingdom to come in a marriage and how a marriage becomes a ministry and a place where God shows up.
As someone who likes to read more than watch videos, here is part of the transcript of what Tripp is saying:
When you think of the marriage between a man and a woman who are believers as being a forum for great commission ministry there are a couple things that come to mind. If you have these two sinners who by nature are self sovereigns who have little interest in doing anything in life, but building their own kingdom…And if they’re now living in a relationship of real unity, real love, willing self sacrifice, you’re seeing the Kingdom come. It has come in this marriage. There are few places where you can better invite people in to see the King at work and see how His Kingdom operates more than a marriage, because typically you don’t have unity, understanding and love.”
Tripp is saying here that when two Christians, who are by-nature sinners and are bent on getting their way, actually submit their lives to each other and serve one another and forgive one another and bless one another - instead of trying to get their own way - then, the Kingdom has come in that marriage. The Kingdom of God can come in a normal moment of service and love and sacrifice for the other that is not anything dramatic at all - but it is supernatural because it is not what the flesh produces. When one spouse decides not to try and get their way but instead seeks the good of the other, that is the reign and rule (the Kingdom) of God manifesting itself in that marriage and Christ is witnessed to. When the Christian life is simply lived out in the context of a marriage and real sacrificial love replaces real selfishness - that is missional ministry. Then, the world is invited to see something different - the relationship between Christ and His Church.
I do not always do this. I can be selfish and, well, selfish. That pretty much sums it up. But, as I learn to seek God and the good of my wife and my children over and above myself - then I am able to live out the Kingdom mission in my home. God help me. I am selfish way more often than I should be. But, like everything else, it all begins with my walk with the Lord and dying to myself and living to Christ daily. When I look to Jesus, everything else falls into place and makes sense - including my marriage and family. When I look to myself, everything falls apart. God help me.
I stood outside the seafood restaurant with my two sons waiting for my father to arrive. The day was blistering hot - the kind of heat that only summer days in the Southern Gulf states can bring. As the sun beat down upon my head and shoulders, I felt like I was breathing into a hot, wet towel. You could almost drink the air. I stood at the door and noticed the fishing paraphenalia that was strewn about on benches and in front of the restaurant, the kind of kitschy decor that seems common to seafood places. Except I had never noticed it here before. This was my hometown, childhood seafood restaurant, and I had never thought of it as kitschy at all. But, then again, I had never spent much time waiting outside the front door. Usually, we were all together and we just walked right in.
I saw my Dad's car driving up and I lost him as he parked on the side of the building. I waited for him to come around the corner of the seafood shop, past the nets and crab traps, and the old anchor that I was just looking at that I had never noticed before. Instead, he stuck his head out of the front glass door and called out for us to come on in. I didn't know how he got in the restaurant without coming our way, and when I went in, I noticed that he came in a side door. Confused, I asked, "Is that door new, or was it there before?" "It's been there," he said. "Let's get something to eat!" I've been coming to this restaurant since I was a kid and I've never noticed that door. I came looking for the familiar and hadn't found it yet.
I hadn't seen my Dad in about four months, and even then, I only saw him for a little while. I live a state over and I don't get home as often as I'd like. He is getting older and I know that I need to make it home more often, but, you know, life is so busy. That's my excuse. I hate that word, "busy." How "busy" are we really? We spend a lot of time supporting the lifestyle of our choosing, even if we are having to work really hard just to make ends meet. Most of our busyness is about choices, but we act like we are victims of this state of turmoil that takes us over and makes us do all the things that we don't want to do. We aren't as much "busy" as we are consumed with living the life that at some point we decided was the life that we wanted to live but have now forgotten why. That life, for me, didn't leave me much time to travel home and see my Dad. Today, I was trying to change that, at least a little.
With the emergence of Black Friday as an unofficial American holiday (holy day), I have been giving some thought to the purpose of holidays in the experience of a culture/people. The word “holiday” comes from the concept of a “holy day,” or a day of commemoration, celebration, or observance. Every religion has its holy days and feast days that commemorate different aspects of their religion or cultural/national story. America, being a secular culture, also has no shortage of holidays to mark the year, give meaning to people’s lives, and to serve as touchstones for our shared cultural experience. Watching the crowds of people overwhelm shopping malls and stores today causes me to the think that Black Friday (the day after Thanksgiving when retailers put on massive sales to clear out inventory and put their books “in the black”) has now been added to the pantheon of American holidays. Some of these days are purely secular and some have religious overtones, but all exist currently because they support some aspect of the American story.
The American Dream, as introduced by James Truslow Adams in his 1931 book, The American Epic, went something like this: "life should be better and richer and fuller for everyone, with opportunity for each according to ability or achievement." This opportunity was to be available to all irrespective of race, creed, gender, or class. In other words, America was to be an egalitarian society where anyone could achieve their goals of personal advancement, prosperity, safety, and security. This became the definition of freedom and was, in many ways, a good thing. Basically, the American Dream involves the hope that every person can advance, improve themselves, and live their best life possible in a nation that is established for that purpose. All of society is to align itself with the goal of helping the individual live out the American Ethos of the pursuit of personal happiness. As the Dream has grown, it has slowly pushed out care for the other. Consumerism and individualism have become manifestations of this pursuit, and education, family, community, and even God/religion are seen as valuable so long as they help us achieve the fulfillment of our dreams.
Because of this, I firmly believe that the American Experience is not secular at all. It is highly religious in the ways that all religions are. Regarding consumerism as a manifestation of the American Dream gone mad, Anthony B. Robinson says,
Is it too much to suggest that consumerism has become a kind of alternative faith, a religion of sorts? Religions are characterized by some vision of a good life, by their rituals and by a particular language. Consumerism seems to be developing all three apace.
Consumerism's vision of the good life is the gaining of goods and experiences. Consumerism also has its own rituals that form and promote consumer character. The acquisition of credit cards and debit cards by the young becomes some sort of rite of passage. The Friday after Thanksgiving is consumerism's high holy day, the No. 1 shopping day of the year. How much we shop during the Christmas season is an indicator of our national health. Television offers the liturgy of consumerism 24/7, and wonder of wonders, we consent to having it piped into our homes!
One might even do a compare- and-contrast between religion's historic and characteristic virtues and consumerism's virtues or qualities of character. For faith and religion, the crowning virtue is love, a capacity for other regard. For consumerism, self-regard would lead the list. No. 2 in a listing of religious virtues would be joy with the associated notion of contentment. Yet for consumerism, discontent is essential. One must be in a constant state of anxiety about keeping up, having the newest and the latest. Virtue No. 3 of the spiritual life is peace and harmony with others. But for consumerism, envy is to be preferred. (http://www.seattlepi.com/local/350593_faith09.html)
My Mamaw died last night. There won't be any plaques or awards given her. There will be no crowds mourning at sports arenas for her memorial service. It will not make the 24 hour news cycle. But, a better person I have never known and I praise God that I got to witness a life that stocked up mounds of rewards in heaven. If there is a way that a person is supposed to live, she lived it, and all who knew her were affected by her.
She was born in 1917 and lived on a farm in Lee Town, Mississippi, a farming community outside of Picayune, MS in south Pearl River County. She was one of 7 brothers and sisters. In 1934 she married my grandfather, James Carl Cross whom she met at a Civil Conservation Corps dance (one of FDR's New Deal measures). They moved up to his family farm in Ellisville, Mississippi. In 1939, they moved to New Orleans where he got work as a shipbuilder in the shipyards. He worked as a pipefitter and shipbuilder during WWII and my aunt and father were born during that time as well. My Mamaw worked as well in different jobs from a coffee packing plant to domestic help. She lived out her Christian faith in deed and not just in word and was known to take people in who needed homes and always spread the love and knowledge of Christ wherever she went. Her husband didn't go to church, but she did and she always made sure that my father and aunt were in church every time possible. They didn't have a car so they would take the bus to get to Sunday School on Sunday morning and Training Union on Sunday night. Then, on Monday, it was up early and work all day.
I was born in 1974. By then, my Mamaw was 57 years old and she and my Papaw lived in the back end of a duplex with us on Venus Street in the Gentilly Terrace area of New Orleans, up by Lake Ponchatrain off Franklin Avenue. I was at her house as much as I was at my own, it seemed. She was a great cook who combined the best of Mississippi country cooking with Louisiana Creole dishes. The smells from her kitchen were amazing. She was always laughing, smiling, and giving us encouragement. I loved being with her. When I was 5, my family moved up the road to Picayune, Mississippi and a year later my Mamaw and Papaw followed us up there. I was glad. They didn't have anything in the way of retirement, so at the age of 70 and 63, they got jobs working as managers for The Pines Apartments, which was a retirement home. There were over a hundred people living at The Pines and my Mamaw ministered Jesus to all of them just like she did everyone else.
What struck me most about my Mamaw's life is how much she loved God. She always had an open Bible marked up and underlined sitting next to her chair. She read it daily and its words permeated her life. She quoted Scripture to us and applied it in all of life's situations. It just rolled off her tongue. She was fun and real and enjoyed life and you enjoyed being around her. She never condemned you when you were being ridiculous but would just smile and say, "Honey, if there is one thing that I have learned, it is to always look to the Lord." She just constantly encouraged me to look to Jesus. When I was a teenager, I was full of ambition and couldn't wait to get out of my small town. I wanted to see the world. She would look at me and smile and quote Scripture that would pour across my unsettled soul. Philippians 4:4-13 was constantly being quoted by her in different ways and pieces. It has become my favorite passage of Scripture because I saw her live it out each and every day.
Philippians 4:11-13 says (in the King James that my Mamaw read)
11Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.
12I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.
13I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
That was her testimony. She was content in whatever circumstance she found herself in because she was in the Lord and He was enough for her. He lived through her and molded her character to His. Even though she had lots of difficult experiences, I can honestly say that I never heard her complain about anything ever. I never heard her say anything bad about anyone or run them down. Neither did my father or my aunt. She would just give praise to God. But, she was not naive. She was as solid as a rock but her stability was rooted in joy, hope, and peace found in Christ. She would always tell me, "Honey, stay in there with the Lord and you will never go wrong." She was right. So often, I didn't understand what she was saying, but now I do.
In August, 2005, Hurricane Katrina devastated the Gulf Coast and my family was in the middle of it. My Mamaw was in a nursing home in Slidell, Louisiana, which was hit especially hard. I didn't know what had happened to her or to my family and it took me several days to get to them. Her nursing home was in the middle of a disaster area mere miles from Katrina's ground zero. Helicopters, National Guard Humvees, and troops were everywhere. People were rushing around in a panic trying to evacuate the nursing home because they could no longer care for the residents and fortunately, I made it there a mere two hours before they were to leave to parts unknown. I wrote about what happened when I found her a few years ago here and this story shows well what kind of woman she was:
I walked down the hall and saw her in the cafeteria, sitting in a wheel chair looking out the window. She saw me and her face lit up, she smiled, and said, "Hey you sweet thing, how are you doing?" She beamed and tears came to my eyes. It was so good to see her. She has dementia, but she always remembers me. I told her that we were going to take a little trip because of the storm. She got confused and did not remember the storm. She didn't understand why she was leaving, but she maintained her usual high spirits. I told her to trust me and everything would be alright. It was hard not to think back on all the years that she took care of me, taught me about Jesus, made me chocolate and coconut cakes, and was just the best grandmother a little boy could have. It was a privilege to be taking care of her now. She was going to be alright. God truly is good.
We packed everything and helped her into my truck. I realized that I was taking her away and sending her to Arkansas, where I might never see her again. I was really starting to deal with sadness, as I thought about the horror of this storm and all that was lost. As we drove north toward Picayune on I-59, she kept saying, "Would you look at that!" and "What happened?" Trees were snapped and sheared everywhere. It was truly a mess. Then, she said something that stopped me in my tracks. All week long, I had been taken aback by the horror of what had taken place. I only thought about what had happened in the negative. "How horrible, how terrible," I had said. I had entertained and tried to answer questions like, "Why did God allow this to happen," and "How could a God of love let people suffer so?" I knew the theological answers, but I was only seeing the negative. Then, my 88 year old Mamaw with dementia taught me the greatest theolgical lesson of my life, driving in that truck, north to Picayune. Instead of complaining or saying how terrible it was, she said,
"Will you look at what God did? Look at His power! He just snapped these trees in half with His mighty hand! We serve an awesome God, son. He can do anything. We have to praise Him! The rocks and trees will cry out if we don't praise Him! Look at what God did! Isn't He powerful? I just don't understand how people don't praise the Lord. Look at His power!"
I was stunned. I sat in my seat and looked at this lady who had served the Lord all her life. She never stopped praising God and believing that He was at work in everything. She knew that even the wind and waves obeyed Him. I knew I was in the presence of a precious saint of the Lord. All my life, I never heard her complain - not once about anything. She was not to break her record now. She was giving God praise! I was reminded of Philippians 4:4, "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again rejoice. Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near." God was speaking through her to me. She had prayed for me all my life and I always felt such a connection with her. But, now, God was speaking through her to me, straight from heaven. At that moment I knew that God was in control. Truly, in control.
I was able to see her one last time a few weeks ago at her nursing home in Little Rock, Arkansas, the day after Thanksgiving. She did not look like herself. She was bent over and drawn and her teeth were gone. She was ready to go home and be with the Lord. But still, her eyes twinkled and her smile was comforting. She gave her life to God and He never left her nor forsook her. He always took care of her. She quoted Scripture, even though she didn't know who I was anymore. "Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you." "Be content in whatever state of mind you are therein." She held my hand and my mind went back to days in her kitchen, smelling the wonderful food that she made and watching her work with complete joy. I can hear her voice and her laugh and remember what it was like to lay my head on her shoulder. I remember how at Christmas time, she would always buy my sister and me a present and give it to us right after Thanksgiving because she couldn't wait to see us play with it and enjoy it. Then, she'd have to go buy another present to give us for Christmas. She couldn't wait to see us happy. I remember her flower garden that I'd help her plant and her fig preserves and coconut cakes and her hands lifted high praising God and the people that she loved and served. I remember her praying for me.
That day in the nursing home there was another lady there who was a resident. She kept interrupting our family as we tried to talk with Mamaw. We ignored her and eventually she stopped and sat silently in her wheelchair. She stuttered when she spoke and didn't make much sense. After spending about an hour with Mamaw, it was time for her to be wheeled back to her room. On the way, she stopped right next to that lady that we were all ignoring and she reached out and took her hand. One hand on top of the lady's hand, one hand underneath - the way I had seen her do hundreds of times with people when she would meet with them and encourage them and pray for them. She stopped for that lady and looked at her with love in her eyes and said that she loved her. The lady said that she loved her too. I watched in awe. Mamaw didn't really know where she was and she didn't know who her family was but she never forgot how to love others and to find the one who was forgotten and remember them. What she had sown into her life continued to come out day after day. She just drew people to herself and that was Jesus in her doing that. In that moment, I saw the love of God like I had so many times before.
The world doesn't know who died last night but I do and from her I know what is valuable and important and eternal. She pointed me to Jesus and to Jesus she has gone. And I stand here on this side of eternity remembering her and hoping and rejoicing in the One to whom her life has fled.
We just finished an amazing weekend of worship, reflection on the Death, Burial, and Resurrection of Christ, spending time with family, and looking toward the future. We look backward at what Christ has done so that we can more clearly see our present and so that we can look ahead to the hope that He has for us in Him. Jesus is risen and that means something significant for us today and for our future as well.
On Friday night, our church set aside time to reflect on the sufferings of Christ. We often skip over the suffering so that we can get to the victory, but unless we go to the cross, I don't think that we will be able to really understand the resurrection. We took time to sit in silent prayer and meditation on the Lord and Scripture before the worship started. We did this for about an hour. Then, we sang, prayed, had some Bible study, and took Communion together. One of the songs that particularly touched me was the modern hymn, "How Deep the Father's Love for Us." There is a verse that says,
It was my sin that held him there / Until it was accomplished / His dying breath has brought me life / I know that it is finished.
My sin is what put Jesus on the Cross. He took it from me so that I would be forgiven, be restored to God, be justified, and so that He could bear God's wrath instead of me. He conquered Satan, death, hell, and He fulfilled the Law, nailing it to the Cross - the debt was paid in full. He disarmed the powers and authorities making a public spectacle of them by the Cross. He rescued me from the dominion of darkness and brought me into His Kingdom. Because of what Jesus has done, I can now approach God with freedom and confidence. I can worship by the Spirit of God freely. Through Christ, God is reconciling the world to Himself, making all things new. What a glorious Savior!
Dwayne O'Riley, a man in our church, painted a painting for us during the two and a half hour worship/prayer service of the face of Jesus. He worked on it some more on Saturday and displayed it during the service this morning. Here is a picture from Friday night right before a tornado knocked out the power!
On Saturday, in the spirit of new life and God making all things new, I planted a small garden with the kids. We planted 7 tomato plants and a basil plant. I have tried this a couple of times before and something always went wrong. One year, I placed the plants too close together and they did not bear much fruit. Another year, we had too much rain and the plants grew huge but I didn't get any tomatoes out of them. I love fresh tomatoes. They taste totally different than the store bought variety. Anyway, it was a neat teaching time for the kids too. I don't try and make every little thing that we do have a spiritual application (even though all of life points back to God), but this just seemed to make sense and be very obvious. While we were digging up the ground, we talked about how we needed to have a soft heart toward God and how we needed to be humble before Him. We also talked about being good soil and the parable of the sower and the seed. They were really engaged and could understand a lot better with their hands in the dirt working to prepare the ground for planting. It was great to work with them too. They worked hard and, even though it is a little garden, tending it will be a rich experience this Spring. Here are some pics (Erika took them - I was filthy):
Yes, I know. A VERY small garden. But, it will be fun. If we do it well this year, next year, we're taking half the yard!
Worship on Sunday was great and we had a lot of visitors, although a lot of regulars were gone. Easter is not usually one of our larger services because we have so many young people and young families and they often travel to spend Easter with away with other family. But, we also have a lot of relatives come visit, so it is a different mix than usual. We started the day with a Sunrise Service and then about 25 of us went to eat breakfast together at a local restaurant. Our family made this an Easter tradition about 3 years ago and we just invite people to join us. We had a great time. After this, we went to church and continued to reflect on the great salvation that Christ secured for us. I preached about God's grace and mercy, but also about His justice and wrath. Jesus fully took God's wrath for us and brought us to God. My Mom in Mississippi will likely read this along with other family members, so I'll put up the picture that was taken of the family after worship. What a blessing my wife and children are to me.
Since I'm posting pictures, the following are from last weekend when Erika and I took the kids to some Greek gardens near Montgomery and then went to feed the ducks at a nearby park. There were some ducklings swimming in the pond that made for some amazing pictures, I thought. Enjoy and have a great week knowing and believing that because Christ is risen, He makes all things new!
I hope that you also had a great celebration of the Resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ! God is so good and I see Him at work all around me is so many amazing ways.
Last night, I couldn't get to sleep. My mind was racing. Finally, I drifted off, but not before I ran through a dozen different subjects. I've been told by friends that I have adult ADD. Maybe so. It would explain a lot. Normally, I write essays for this blog because it is really rewarding for me to lock in on one topic and explore it and I use it as a teaching platform for my church. Today, I'll take you on a random tour of what I'm thinking about in classic, stream-of-consciousness form. Each of these thoughts could be a blogpost all their own and they have been building up in my head. So, I think I'll clean out my brain a little so that I can think more clearly and start over.
I'm going back to India at the end of next month. Around midnight last night, I called Thom Wolf in India and talked with him for awhile. It was almost noon there. He was my professor and intellectual mentor in school back when I lived in San Francisco and he lives in New Delhi. We will go north to the Himalayas and do our normal thing with the ministries there, and then possibly travel with him for a couple of days to the south of India to meet some people doing very interesting things.
I am working through Paul's letter to the Philippians right now in my Bible study and my preaching. I am also writing essays to go along with each topic. Philippians is a great letter to address the "God as a means to an end" syndrome that plagues contemporary Christianity. I am thinking of releasing the essays after I am through with this. It has been really interesting. Today, I am working on one called "Chains" about how Paul volunteered to put himself in less than ideal situations so that the gospel would be spread to others through his life and suffering. Check out Philippians 1:7-14. Am I willing to do the same?
"According to some estimates, Christians in developed Western countries now represent only 37 percent of believers worldwide. As I travel and also read chruch history, I have observed a pattern, a strange historical phenomenon of God 'moving' geographically from place to place: from the Middle East to Europe to North America to the developing world. My theory is this: God goes where He's wanted." ~ Philip Yancey, Finding God in Unexpected Places.
I ran across a fascinating article today on urban development in post-Katrina New Orleans on Newgeography.com by Andres Duany. Duany, of Cuban descent, says that "New Orleans is not among the most haphazard, poorest or misgoverned American cities, but rather the most organized, wealthiest, cleanest, and competently governed of the Caribbean cities." He says that New Orleans is not really an American city at all. Rather, it is a Caribbean city. Jimmy Buffett, after Katrina hit, said that the northern Gulf of Mexico is actually the northern part of the Caribbean, not the Southern part of the U.S. I agree. Being from there, it is different that the rest of the country, and I love it. Totally different way of thinking, worldview, and lifestyle. Maybe this is why Baptists have had so much trouble reaching the Gulf Coast? Hmmm.
My two favorite songs on my ipod right now are "Rocket Man" by Angie Aparo and "A Change is Gonna Come" by Ben Sollee. They are both cover songs, but the music and vocals are really intriguing. If you haven't heard either of these guys, check them out. Here's a live version of "Rocket Man." I think about this when I am travelling too much.
And, Ben Sollee on the cello. Yes, the cello. This is amazing.
This week marks the 3 year anniversary of us finding a lump on Caelan's chest that was a cancerous tumor. It has been a hard three years, but I praise God everyday for His faithfulness. Last night, Erika told me that the little 3 year old girl that my family has been praying for since we saw her at Caelan's last scans died last week. Her name was Cassie. My heart was broken over that. Maybe that is why I keep singing "A Change is Gonna Come." Ben Sollee, covering Sam Cooke, says he doesn't know what's beyond the sky. I do, and more and more each day I pray that God's Kingdom come.
"As heretical as it sounds today, it is probably worth telling Americans that you don't need Jesus to have better families, finances, health, or even morality. Coming to the cross means repentance - not adding Jesus as a supporting character for an otherwise decent script but throwing away the script in order to be written into God's drama. It is death and resurrection, not coaching and makovers." Michael Horton, Christless Christianity.
Baseball season is about to start. I really don't like baseball. Too slow for my taste. During the dead of summer, it is almost like there are no sports going on. I'm just waiting for football. Although, our church has formed THREE softball teams with about 50 players and they'll be playing mostly on Monday nights, so I am glad for the fact that a lot of people from our church will be hanging out together and building relationships. Being blind in my right eye caused me to never play baseball because I have no depth perception, so maybe that is why I don't like it. I do plan to play summer league basketball, though.
The groundbreaking for our church's new building is April 5, right before we have a huge neighborhood Easter Egg Hunt. We've been reaching a lot of teenagers in our community lately, and God really moved in their lives at a youth retreat that we had this past weekend. Several came to Christ and many more opened their hearts to Jesus. We have also started tutoring, GED classes, and are helping with job placement. God is doing some amazing things. The building is just a tool to help us with this, and it should be finished by October. I'll be very happy.
I keep watching Jon & Kate plus Eight. I don't know why. Erika keeps asking why I stop there when we are watching TV and I have the remote and I told her that I really can't believe how mean Kate is to Jon and I can't fathom how they manage eight kids like that. Wow. It's like a car wreck. I have four kids of my own. Do I really need to watch someone else's stress? Strangely, I'm drawn to it. That, and Clean House, which is about people who live in an unfathomable mess. I guess that it is cathartic to see other people's stress and mess instead of my own. Normally, these shows come on right after we put the kids to bed. Hmmm.
I turned in my taxes yesterday and I'm trying to get some insurance stuff taken care of. It's a pain and seems to be taking forever. Car tags have to be paid on Monday and I'm doing a TV interview tomorrow for a local religious broadcasting station about our work in India. I lump all of that together because it all feels about the same to me - stuff I have to do that I don't like doing. I'm not just trying to be humble about the TV thing either. I HATE stuff like that. Communication should be two-way and interactive with feedback, not captured on a television for people to pick over and misinterpret as they wish. Maybe I'm just insecure.
Books I'm reading right now (they happen to all be "Christian" books, which is not good - I need to vary things up a bit and learn from some other disciplines):
Finding God in Unexpected Places by Philip Yancey - picked it up in the airport last week. Yancey writes essays about where he sees God working in the world. Excellent.
Christless Christianity by Michael Horton - states that the American church has given itself over to an alternative gospel that he calls, therapuetic moralistic deism.
No Place for Truth - Or Whatever Happened to Evangelical Theology by David Wells. This came out about 15 years ago, but it was recommended to me by a friend of mine. It is pretty dense, but a good read. Makes some of the same claims as Horton, but from a historical perspective.
My church is always heavy on my mind and my heart. I graduated from seminary over 9 years ago. I've been the lead pastor of our church for 3 1/2 years. I'm realizing more and more each day that I am not smart enough, talented enough, entertaining enough, or gifted enough to do what needs to be done, no matter how many books I read. God has to work through me. I need Him. I carry the weight of people's struggles pretty intensely. I greatly desire for people to walk with the Lord and to glorify Him and I want our church to hunger after Christ with their whole lives and to reach people who do not know Jesus. But, I am really having to pray about this and release it to the Lord. I can't make anyone do anything. I am completely powerless to make anything happen. God has to do it. I have always known that intellectually. I am learning that emotionally and spiritually and it isn't easy, believe it or not.
Ashtyn has started soccer.
I have great kids and an amazing wife who listens to me go on and on about everything that I am thinking about. She is really patient and she always gives me great feedback. I do not deserve her, and I'm not just saying that because it is what I am expected to say. She's really something. She texted me two days ago and said that we should go on the mission trip with the youth group this summer. I told her that I agreed. Not many mother's of four kids would do that.
My city, Montgomery, just elected a new mayor in a special election a couple of weeks ago. In his election night interview, he said that he hoped that he would "rule" well. Rule #1 in American politics: Never tell the people that you plan to "rule" them. It doesn't sit well in a democracy. Then, he said that he was pushing the inauguration back a week because he was taking his family to the beach. Rule #2: When we are in a severe recession, don't tell the people that just elected you that you would begin to rule, er, serve them, but first, you have to go to the beach. Go to the beach in a few months AFTER you have worked for them for a little while. Wow.
Look, a BUTTERFLY!!!! Sorry, had to get that out. Does anyone ever feel that way? Random as can be.
I've lost 10 pounds in the past two weeks and I don't know how. I guess that I haven't been eating as much. Duh. Stress? Busyness? I don't know, but I'll take it. I could stand to lose a lot more.
Well, that's about it. Not really, but I figure that no one is still reading at this point, so I might as well stop. Believe it or not, engaging in an exercise in complete randomness actually made me feel better. So, I leave you with a picture of my kids that I really love.
God is good, by the way. And, He's always working in every thing. Big, little, important, mundane. God is always at work.
My daughter, Ashtyn, was born 10 years ago this May. I cannot believe that the time has gone by so fast. It seems like just yesterday that I was holding her in one hand while giving her a bath under the faucet in our kitchen sink. When she was first born, she would cry with a little quiver, so I called her "Little Mouse" because that is what she sounded like. She was born to Erika and I when we lived in Marin County, which is right across the Golden Gate Bridge from San Francisco. I was finishing up seminary at Golden Gate Baptist Theological Seminary in Mill Valley, CA, when Ashtyn was born to us and she has always been our "California Girl." She likes it when I call her that.
Years ago, I told Erika that when Ashtyn was somewhere between the ages of 8-10, I wanted to take her on a trip, just she and I. We have talked about it for the past several years, and we finally just decided to go for it. So, tomorrow, I will take Ashtyn to San Francisco, the city of her birth. She has always wanted to visit there, so I thought we would give it a try. The awesome thing is that we are hardly spending any money at all. We made this her birthday present, so grandparents and family are kicking in, we found REALLY cheap airfare, and I called someone I knew out there and they are letting us sleep on an air mattress in their living room! We leave tomorrow and will be gone until Wednesday of next week.
I am really looking forward to this. I am glad that I am spending this concentrated time with Ashtyn before she reaches adolescence. We talk a lot, but with 3 younger brothers, things can get pretty hectic. She is growing up really fast and time is slipping by. Before I know it, she'll be gone. It is so easy for one day to turn into a month and into a year. I really am trying to treasure everything, but it all slips through your fingers so fast. I think that continually praising God for the blessings that He gives us is the best way to go about savoring the moment. When we praise God for the life we have, we recognize an eternality to the moment and it is preserved in Him. When I was taking the kids to school today, we praised God for all the blessings that He's given us. Peyton and Kieran were saying how happy they were that Ashtyn was getting to go on the trip. I'll remember that. It will stand out as more than just a drive to school.
Ashtyn sang in a duet today at her honors choral concert at her school. She was beautiful. I am so proud of the girl that she has become and I look forward to the young lady that she is growing into. It's a shame that she will never be able to date boys, though. I haven't told her that yet, but I'm hoping that she'll understand when I do get around to it. I plan to keep her locked up in the house until I can find a suitable husband for her. I tend to procrastinate, so it could be awhile. She's only turning 10 this Spring, so we're a long way from worrying about any of that. A very long way. Seriously. I'm not kidding.
Anyway, San Francisco awaits. The Daddy-Daughter trip I've been planning in my mind the past decade has finally arrived!
I don't have a picture of it, but I wish I did. The other day, Erika came to me with Kieran's backpack in her hand. She showed me what was inside and I could only smile. It made my heart warm. Inside his brand new backpack that he got for completing his Upwards Basketball season, he had all the essentials in case he had to make a quick get-away:
A Teddy Bear
A Nerf Football
4 crayons placed in the pen holders of the smallest pocket.
Last fall, our family went exploring through the countryside of central Alabama on a Saturday looking for fun stuff to do. I took these pics and meant to post them a long time ago, but forgot. So, here we are at a farm that was holding some type of fall festival. Enjoy. It was a really great day.
This is NOT a post about how spiritual we are or how perfect our kids are. Far from it. I am tempted to not even write this because it could appear that I am trying to say, "Look what we're doing! Look what we're doing!" Again, that is not the case. Please hear my heart in this. This is also not a post about worshiping the family in case the title is confusing. May it never be.
If you have kids, I would really encourage you to take some time each morning and/or evening to spend with them in the Word of God and in prayer. We have always prayed with our kids every morning and night and the 20 minutes that I take them to school has been a time of talking through issues, prayer, and listening to a message together on the radio. We also do a ton of "as you go" type instruction during the day. Lately, we have also started going through a book of family devotions by Josh McDowell each evening. The kids are loving it and can't wait to do it each evening. Kieran, my 5 year old is in charge of the book and he always runs and gets it. It is a very approachable book and it has a scripture passage, a story to illustrate the passage, discussion questions, and a prayer. We adapt it and have great discussions around the scriptures and the topic. God has really been moving in the life of my family through this and I am seeing a greater spiritual sensitivity and desire to know and obey the Lord in my children. Kieran asked about salvation a couple of weeks ago and after some discussion, he prayed to receive Christ. He was incredibly sincere about it and really seems to understand.
I honestly do not know a busier family than my own. We try and limit activities, but being the pastor of a church of around 250 with no other full time staff and being the father of four kids has me out doing something just about every night of the week. We hit the ground running early every morning, go all day, and have something just about every night, whether it is getting together with another family, going to an event with the church, attending a school function, or, well, fill in the blank. It never ends. Still, we really make spending time together a top priority. We watch no television before the kids go to bed in the evenings. That really helps. And of course, we also have to put them to bed each night, so inserting this time together the 20 minutes or so before they go to bed has been no problem at all. It has been a huge blessing, actually.
I am still learning how to do this. I make huge mistakes. I am not trying to say that we are some type of an example in perfect discipline when it comes to this. Life is busy and we are always running and there are many families that I can point to that are likely more efficient in how they do this. But, I will tell you that doing this has been a huge blessing and it is something that I am glad is a part of my life. ANY family can take the time together to focus on the Lord and pray for one another no matter how busy you are. Turning off the television is the first step. Being intentional about time spent together is the next step. Honestly, I have the greatest kids and wife that I can imagine, and they are incredibly easy to encourage in this area. God has been good to me.
I guess that I am just writing this to encourage other dads and families to take time to go before the Lord together with your children. Whether it is in prayer, Bible study, and/or discussion, take time to go before the Lord together. Yeah, I said that twice. It bears repeating. You don't have to be a spiritual giant to do it. Just make yourself available. God will bless you in amazing ways when you do!
My favorite week of the year started yesterday (between Christmas and New Year's). We have family visitng, presents are everywhere, we just ate brunch a little while ago, and we just had a foosball tournament with the new foosball table. Peyton, my 7 year old son, is beating everyone like 21-3. He is ridiculous. Caelan is running around in a dinosaur costume and the kids are about to play a board game. We are doing nothing except sitting around, hanging out, eating, reading, and resting. My favorite things to do!
Except for Sunday services, I'll be off work this week. We might travel to my hometown and see my Dad or we might not. I don't know yet. At any rate, we plan to rest, reflect, enjoy being together, and give some thought to what the new year holds for us. After a long and stressful year and a long and stressful holiday season, this upcoming week is exactly what we need. I might write quite a bit this week, or very little. Basically, I plan to rest, think, and enjoy being with my family. I hope that you get a chance to do the same. This is a great week for some vacation.
What are your plans? Reading any good books? Watch any good movies?
My 7 year old son, Peyton, was watching an animal talent show on Animal Planet a few minutes ago and he came and told me about a pig that was playing the piano. He said, "Daddy, there was this pig that was playing the piano. He played, "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star." One of the judges gave him an 8, and two of the judges gave him a 7 (out of 10). I don't know. If it were me, and a pig could play the piano, I'd give him a 10."
I agree, Peyton. How do you not give a piano playing pig a 10? Must be SEC football refs.
Either the prophetic cry regarding our lifestyle choices and pursuit of the American Dream is getting louder, or I am just paying closer attention. As our economy tanks and our culture declines, I think that more and more Christians will begin to consider how we are living. Russell Moore from Southern Seminary takes aim at Southern Baptists' acquiesance to a culture run amok in materialism and hedonism. He hits this topic much harder than I have over the past few weeks as he talks to Southern Baptists about some timely issues. He says, "both left and right in the American mainstream are captive to the ideology that the appetites are to be indulged; the heart wants what it wants, by whatever system will do it most efficiently." Moore is at his best in this article when he exposes the spiritual warfare that is taking place in our midst and how we have been deceived as we fall in line with the materialistic pursuit of our culture. He aptly points out that our enemy is not flesh and blood.
Moore's only weakness is that he is writing from a middle-class perspective as he critiques families where both parents are working. This is the reality for many families and there is really nothing that can be done about it. Instead of making families who HAVE to do this to survive feel bad, we should help them and support them as they provide for their families. His focus, however, is rightly placed on those families who could easily make it on one income, but choose to put children in day care to pursue a lifestyle of affluence. That action does require some analysis and alternatives need to be considered.
Overall, however, his take on this subject is timely - especially his comments on spiritual warfare.
Last night we had our life group meeting at our home. It was really more like a big party than it was a "meeting." That is how it works with our small group. We have anywhere from 7-9 families each week and there are a bunch of children. It is a lot of fun and we pray for one another and encourage each other in our walk with God.
Last night after life group, my six year old son, Peyton, thought he lost his wallet. Over the past year or so, he has saved up all of the money that he has been given for birthdays, Christmas, etc. for a grand total of $105. Well, in the confusion with all of the kids over last night, we thought that his little brother Caelan found it and hid it somewhere. We also heard that all of the money was gone. Suddenly, we were worried that it had been lost somewhere. Peyton was really upset. He started crying and said, "I could try and make more money, but it just wouldn't work!" This was said with a quivering bottom lip and tears running down his face. So, instead of engaging in a lecture on the dangers of materialism and consumeristic greed, I had another thought. Maybe God wanted to reveal Himself to my son.
