Church and Family Should Work Together

It is hard for me to believe, but for many people there seems to be a tension between church and family. That should not be the case, but it often is. Many church leaders want people involved with and working with the church to help it grow even of the family unit is stressed and separated. Many families see the church as something that can help their family on the one hand, but can also wear their family out. It almost seems like there is a competiton and for some, it is as though they are trying to protect their family from the church. That should not be.

In Luke 2:21-52, we see a picture of Jesus' family, their relationships with others, and the role that the community and the Temple had in his childhood. Jesus was born into a family and that family loved Him, nurtured Him, and taught Him. But, Mary and Joseph did not live isolated lives. Jesus was not just raised with his family. He was circumcised on the eighth day according to Jewish law. He was prophesied over by Simeon and Anna at the Temple. Every year, Jesus' family traveled to Jerusalem with friends and family for the Passover Feast. He was in the Synagogue every Sabbath day growing up (Luke 4:16). He was raised by His family and He grew in wisdom and stature, but His family was also deeply involved in the religious community. That is how it should be.

Churches do not exist to help families be strong for their own sake, and families do not exist to help the church grow, necessarily. Both family and church exist to meet with God and learn from Him and display His character and life to a lost world. Both family and church exist to help us love God and others. Just as in the life of Jesus, family and church should compliment one another in bringing glory to God, not compete with each other. How that happens is something that every family and church leader should consider and take seriously.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Comments

[Lisa]

I think from our family's perspective, that in the PAST, the church has imposed guilt on church members when they are not able to attend ALL the activiites or functions....for example: our sons have special needs and get overwhelmed and out of sorts when there is too much stimulation(ie:people and activities). We don't attend, for instance, on Sunday nights. We use that time to destress and prepare our family for the week. That doesn't make us less "Christian" because we dont attend, but we have actually been told that! In certain peoples eyes within the church, we are seen as less than "spiritual" because we dont attend Sunday nights. What legalism.(this has happened in EVERY church we have attended since we have been in AL)

I'm afraid when the church starts imposing "rules" on when you are spiritual and when you are not by attendance, something has gone wrong.

What I propose is that the church is the place where the family goes to worship, fellowship and grow but our "mission" is outside the walls of the church. Our church family is certainly a big part of who we are but in our family and what I can see from scripture is that our mission is outside the walls. And sometimes, like in the case of my husband and I, our main "mission" is our boys and their special needs at this point in time.... See More

As long as I have been in minsitry, I have seen this tug and you are right, I have seen families get pulled in so many directions and get burned out and then chastised for pulling back! It is crazy!

I like your thoughts today!
Lisa

[Alan Cross]

Well, Gateway doesn't have a Sunday night service, so, you wouldn't be accused of not being spiritual here! :)

I would say that church is not where the family goes and there is really no such thing as the "walls of the church." I get what you are saying, but the distinction is important. The church is people - the ekklesia - the "called-out ones." I also don't think that you can be properly engaged in mission by yourself. Mission is to happen in community as well. What I am saying is that we miss the concept of "church" completely when we think of it as someplace that we go, relate it to a building, or see ourselves on mission apart from the community of believers. The actual concept of church is a living organism that both gathers and scatters throughout the community under the Lordship of Christ. A program and institutional mentality has stripped the church of its biblical meaning and has replaced it with someone that few apart from full-time pastors have much interest in seeing continue. But, the Body of Christ is truly beautiful and should be celebrated and participated in. I know you well enough to know that you know all of that and that you are reacting against the cultural version of "church" that bears little resemblance to the Biblical understanding of church, but, so that others would not be confused as to what I was talking about, I wanted to clarify.

My confusion is how some see competition between the family and even the biblical understanding of church. We should see both function complimentarily, not in competition.

[Lisa]

I totally agree with you on the "walls of the church". That is the concept among most Christians. On Sunday night we are being "the church" to our boys, when we minister as a family to others, we are being the church. How do we change peoples concept of "what church is"? I hope to have some "influence" in the role I am in right now. I pray for that every day. Thanks for your continued thoughts that spur conversation.

[JeGeYe]

I'm sending my sister this post!

We've been back in the States for six months (we're imb m's) and we're in AL. We've chosen NOT to go to church on Sunday nights. It stressed our kids out, b/c they've never experienced "church" like that. Overseas, our typical worship/church gathering was about three hours....in homes...all at one time...not divided up over a day.

It stresses me out to feel the pressure (real or imagined) that we should be at the building on Sunday night.

My sister, who is a member there, really feels the pressure. She has told me how, in the past with their previous pastor, that those who didn't come on Sunday nights were made to feel guilty. Her family runs itself ragged trying to keep up with all the activities at the building. I've encouraged her to step back and start saying "no" to some things; to really think about why they do what they do.

Our impression of many churches we've visited since we've been back is that the vast majority of people attending participating in the activities are doing so almost as though that is a sign of how spiritual they are....almost an "I've been to church, participated in the activities and now I'm ok with God..."

What has happened to living and being the church wherever you go?
I'm in no way trying to negate the importance of meeting together with other believers....it just seems that outward actions/participating in activities are valued more than hearts truly turned towards God 24/7...

Sorry for the rant! I've just been really saddened and sometimes close to tears at some of the services I've been in....so much outward participation, but where are their hearts? truly? ...people give and give financially....but that seems to be the limit of their participation...no reaching out to their community...just giving money....

the churches truly seeking to reach out to their communities and others are few and far between....it seems to me....many are very inwardly focused.

Sad....thanks for your post!
BTW, I've read your posts for a couple of years now....prayed for your family especially during your sons' cancer bout....thanks for writing honestly and truthfully....on key issues effecting USA churches....

[Lisa]

We were missionaries too and we never had Sunday night services (home groups during the week. in fact when we were church planters, we met for "church" in our home all the time. It is a cultural thing here I guess. I agree 100% with your post JeGeYe. Very true!