With all the talk about alcohol in the SBC . . .
I ran across this article today and thought it was pretty funny. It just goes to show how we can make the Bible say just about anything we want based on our presuppositions, eh? As you read this, think about other passages that can be taken out of context, viewed in isolation, and used wrongly.
MINOT, N.D. — Jack Crocker, a beer-loving machinist and "part-time Christian," finally agreed to read Proverbs with wife Reanna. He's glad he did.
"I'm a Proverbs 31 husband all right," says Jack, then quotes Proverbs 31:6-7: "Give beer to those who are perishing, wine to those who are in anguish; let them drink and forget their poverty and remember their misery no more."
"That's my permission to crack open a cold one," Jack says, having a Coors after dinner.
But Reanna, a new church member, is pushing Jack hard to stop drinking. She insists he is neither "perishing" nor "in anguish." But Jack researched the Bible on the Internet and found 2 Corinthians 4:16 and 5:2 which say, "Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day," and "Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling."
"Everyone is perishing and in anguish," Jack says. "Until we're delivered from these bodies, the Bible says to drink up."
As part of the escalating family tension he created a "Proverbs 31" category on their weekly budget and listed "beer" under it. He also wants to start a Proverbs 31 Men's Group with his buddies.
"We're trying to find where the Bible talks about buffalo wings," he says. •
And, in case you didn't know, I found it on Lark News, which is a Christian satire site. They try to make points about how ridiculous we can be through satire, which is usually lost on most people. I don't approve of everything there, but they usually make pretty good points that get me to think about things in a different way.
That is hilarious. Someone needs to send it to several folks who've lambasted those who believe in simply teaching the bible stance on the matter. Perhaps one or more would take it seriously.
No .. wait .. it's not fair to tease animals.
Posted by: Bob Cleveland | November 14, 2006 at 04:22 PM
Everyone knows that Jesus turned that water into grape juice anyway, so what's the big deal?
Very, very funny post. It made my morning! Thanks!
Posted by: Nomad | November 14, 2006 at 06:05 PM
Dear Brother Alan,
A great laugh right when I needed it---thanks!
Love in Christ,
Jeff
Posted by: Jeff Richard Young | November 15, 2006 at 09:29 PM